• 21 November 2022

    How to stop self-sabotage and finally design a successful career

    Have you ever found yourself in a rut only to realize that you are self-sabotaging your career in particular and your life in general? 

    Well, then, fear not because you are not alone! 

    Believe it or not, many professionals exhibit destructive behaviors that self-sabotage their plans, despite their best efforts to lead a happy life and have a successful career!

    So, what are the solutions you might ask, and how can someone break this harmful cycle?

    Let’s look at the various ways we self-sabotage and the steps we can undertake today to stop doing it. 

    But first, let’s understand what self-sabotage is and why we do it.

    Self-sabotage is a set of self-destructive habits or behaviors that can cause damage in our lives and prevent us from attaining our goals. In other words, we might deliberately be standing in our way to a successful career.

    This may be a conscious or unconscious behavior and can have different causes, such as childhood issues, unresolved traumas from past relationships, low self-esteem, etc.

    Whatever the root causes for self-sabotage are, it is necessary to uncover and understand them to finally break free from them.

    How do we self-sabotage?

    Self-sabotaging can appear in our lives at any moment and in many ways and forms. One of my clients, Sally*, was always unable to attain her goals, and follow through with her career plans, despite her best intentions. 

    Little did she know that she was self-sabotaging because of her big-rooted fear of failure. It took a few sessions for her to finally accept what was happening to her. And that is when we devised the right plan for her to move forward and achieve the successful career she has always coveted.

    I have seen many different cases like Sally, throughout my career as a professional career coach, and I can assure you that we can be self-sabotaging ourselves in one or multiple areas in our lives: personal and professional.

    Self-sabotaging isn’t always obvious and can manifest in various forms: such as procrastination or the nasty habit of always putting things off until the last minute.

    It can also be due to perfectionism, and never being fully satisfied with what we are doing, hence endlessly putting it off, which in turn, leads back to procrastination.

    It can also be due to the constant negative self-talk we are feeding ourselves and that we are unaware of.

    Self-sabotage can manifest in one or a multitude of different sets of negative behaviors. It is important to understand what is happening to us if we want to move forward and get rid of it once and for all! 

    How to stop self-sabotaging: 

    Understand the root cause of your self-sabotage: This is the first step towards healing from self-sabotage and negative self-talk and behaviors. If you want to break out of the patterns you are stuck in, you need to uncover the driving force behind the way you act. Is it because of a previous negative experience or is it a deep-rooted fear that you have? Whatever the cause, if you want to get rid of self-sabotage once and for all, you need to understand the cause and remove it from your life.

    Create healthy habits and routines: that will help you when feeling down. This will counter-effect the tendency for procrastination that you might have. Whether you are improving your motivation levels or simply incorporating mindful practices - such as routinely saying positive affirmations to yourself every morning - creating healthy habits is a sure way to help you become aware of your negative tendencies and replace them with healthier ones.

    Rest and take care of yourself: By practicing self-compassion and taking it easy, you are signaling to your brain that you are moving to a safe headspace. This will allow you to get out of the negative rut you are stuck in and explore the different steps you can take to remove self-sabotage from your life.

    Boost your confidence: by actively working on improving it. Uncover the areas where you lack confidence and why then find ways to remedy them. You might be lacking confidence in your managerial skills. Signing up to take courses that will help you acquire the needed skills will boost your confidence. You might also be having repetitive negative self-talk that is not allowing you to go after your dreams. Uncover that self-talk then counter it with positive affirmations, journaling, meditation, and a lot of self-love and self-care.

    Get help: If you are unable to navigate through the journey of removing self-sabotage from your life alone, then talk to someone who can help you. There are many people like myself, a career coach, who specialize in helping you find ways to overcome the many obstacles you are facing. Then, together, we can develop the course of action that is best suited for you.

    Are you still uneasy about beating self-sabotage by yourself? All you need is a career coach and I am here to help! Book your Free Career Boost Session with me today, so we can uncover your causes and move forward, together!